Yeah..

I know that, most likely, nobody's even going to read my journal.

But, hey, it's late, and I'm bored, so this is what I've decided to do to occupy my time. x3

I haven't updated in a LOOOONG time, I know. In all honesty, I'm mainly here to see and fave the artwork of my friends and those whose artwork I really like. Should inspiration and the drive strike, though, I'll surely add something new to my gallery.

Nest and Iia - I love you both to bits! Keep up the good work with your artwork and stuff!

I've been feeling kinda..ick..as of late.

Like..realizing how many things I'm dissatisfied with, how many things I truly dislike.

Like my lips and voice, and how they work together at times, like when I'm nervous or trying to say something but having it come out different from what I had played over in my head.

Like my inability to find friends who think like I do on certain matters. Not ALL matters, just some. Iia, you might know what I'm talking about.

Like my sensitivity and my damned brain. Why can't I remember things well? Seriously! I forget things that I shouldn't have a problem remembering at all! I even tell myself, 'Pay attention - this is important!', and then, later on, sure enough, I've forgotten.

I'm confused about a lot of things, but hey, who isn't? I just wish that I was allowed to be confused. That I was ALLOWED to be on the fence. I haven't made up my mind, and I don't see why I should HAVE to now. I don't have to now. It's alright to be unsure, contrary to popular belief.

The next time I try to make friends with people, I'll try to remember to establish this right from the get-go: there are gonna be some times when, when you call me on my phone, I won't wanna talk to you. It doesn't mean that I don't LIKE you, it just means that I don't feel like talking to you. I don't want to spend a LOT of time with you - let's just have a very low-maintenance friendship. And no, I'm not jolly, happy, silly, and energetic all of the time - be prepared for the days when I just want to be quiet and relax. It could be days, even weeks, before I'll want to talk to or hang out with you. It doesn't mean that our friendship is deteriorating, nothing negative. It's just the way that I function.

Find me someone that'd want to be a friend with me after all of that. I'll be purely overjoyed.

The Internet is a scary, scary place. We lose our humanity behind the computer screen, and become demons.

LISTEN to me, damnit! Stop rolling your eyes, scoffing, and walking away without hearing what I have to say!

..

..eh, that last bit might not make much sense in context, but it's definitely something that I've felt like friggin' SHOUTING at times, especially recently